I'm being hunted by the animal rights people. It seems the cat belonging to the woman in the apartment below me jumped out of the window and threw itself in front of a car, driven to desperation by my singing and guitar playing upstairs. The cat suffered minor injuries and is doing well. The cat's plight was brought to my attention yesterday by a visit from the Pussy Police, a non-profit cat's right's group. I promised to give the recovering cat a can of tuna fish a day, which I had already been doing for months, and to switch to instrumental songs on the guitar, and in turn the group would call off their dogs.